Hi again, reliable Internet companions!
I'm currently in Hong Kong and it's raining outside. My friends and I decided to seek comfort indoors @ Hotel Jen, where we're staying. They're fast asleep and I'm wide awake. While they're dozing, I've decided to draft up a little something here for you guys ;-)
If you don't already know, I have been writing on this space for quite some time. I love documenting fragments of my life. Through writing, I find that I am able to liberate a part of me I've yet to learn how to deal with. For those of you that have been reading my blog for a long time and have accompanied me through the highlights of my existence, from falling in love to experiencing heartbreak and back to believing in love again, thank you so much for being a part of my journey! Kudos!
As I browsed through my past posts, I found myself really enjoying the exhilarating and nostalgic feeling of being catapulted back to my transformative years. As such, I thought this would be as good a time as any to craft a post as reference for my future self and to update all of you on where I currently stand at this very age and in this very moment. To those new readers who might have little knowledge of me, this post might help you to get to know me a little more personally.
Who knows, we all might be more similar than we think.
I am 24 going on 25 this 2016. It's rumoured that November babies are conceived on/around Valentine's Day and this notion somehow makes me irrationally happy to know. Being an end-of-year baby has also made the following, slightly awkward conversation possible on so many occasions:
Person: So, how old are you?
Me: 24
Person: Oh, so you're a 1992 as well?
Me: No.... it's '91.
All that aside, when I was a teenager, I used to picture 25 as the age by which one gets their shit together - after all, as you finish the first quarter of your life, you probably have had enough experience to know what to do with with the remaining three. My mom had me when she was 25. With that as a guide, I aspired to be happily married with a kid by 25 as well. Now that I am almost 25 in few months time, I can only say, "shit, no way, I'm definitely not ready to be a mom NOW".
..... and that is one of the many reasons why my friends are so important to me. My friends are my almost-family and literally my helpline when I am in need.
I think this thought only set in a few Chinese New Years ago. It was then that I realized my kids would not have many visitings to do due to my lack of siblings. It doesn't help that my cousins are mostly in Malaysia and that we've grown up apart over the years because of distance. This might also be one of the many reasons I'd like to have a big family. Then again, child birth seems scary so...
I have a love-hate relationship with the idea of me being reliant on my friends. While I applaud myself for being vulnerable in front of others, I don't like appearing weak. Thus, with the knowledge that everyone eventually leaves, I find it hard to truly open up to people.
Some people we just outgrow. Relationships might end with no real explanation as to why. And when that happens, respect the shift. Honor the growth and understand that not all roots can stay planted in the same soil forever.
| — | Alex Elle |
If you've had friends that you loved dearly and for some reason or another had to part ways with, here's a quote thae you might relate to as well:
‘I still love the people I’ve loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them.
| — | Uma Thurman |
It's already 237PM now and it seems like my friends might wake up anytime now. I should get going! I thought I'd be able to hit at least three points about myself, then again, baby steps yeah? Just like before, hitting "publish" still scares me till this very day.
Thanks for reading :-)
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P.S. If you happen to be free and have time to read a little something, here's something that currently occupy me emotionally:
1. https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra
2. https://www.facebook.com/ellie.fialk/posts/10206915898164478
3. http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/06/05/brock_turner_s_dad_s_defense_proves_why_his_victim_had_to_write_her_letter.html
4. https://thecoven.me/2016/04/17/roe-mcdermott-he-said-nothing/
Right now, it's just mostly women supporting each other and feeling for each other. I long for the day men take an active role in such discussions.
