Friday, March 21, 2014


Hi guysssssssss. Yes, I am finally back on this space! Thanks for visiting this dormant site every now and then despite the lack of updates. I apologize that I am not as active I thought I'd be after Bali. Everyone seems to think I went away for a REALLY long time when it's just 8 days (though yeah it's relatively long for a holiday haha). Also, a lot had happened over this considerably "long" amount of time. 

And here I am, ready to unload. I've been drafting this entry since days but I can never formulate it to the way I want; the flow just doesn't seem right but yeah. I'm sure you're intellectual enough to filter out the noises in the entry and get to the point I'm tryna deliver.

People Come & Go
A good friend of mine who's just slightly older than me recently told me, she never believes the people in her life are meant to stay. We hear this a lot, don't we? I personally hear and see this quite often on TV, Tumblr or from the people I'm not well-acquainted to. And never once was I affected by the truth of that sentence till she said it. I choked. 

I've never given it much thought because I was never the "people" mentioned in that sentence till that day. And now that, I am acknowledged as one of them in her life who supposedly won't stay, I am bothered. In that moment, I couldn't get defensive even if I want to because I know, to a certain extent, she's right.

"People are gonna go anyway."

Those words may sound flat here, but the honest crack in her voice over the phone call lingers in my head. Then, I instantly knew how her fear was so immense, she'd do nothing to hold anyone back in her life. And for that, I didn't even try to convince her how I'll do my best to stay. I've never thought of life this way (........yet) and honestly, I don't want to just yet. I don't want to be meeting new people with the thought that they'll disappear someday anyway.

I am still partially in denial because I think we all hold the power to keep in touch with the people we want to, right? If there's a will, there's a way. Then again, not all dates are meant to be fulfilled.

The Dates We Keep, The Dates We Forget
Date in this case, means a confirmed appointment with someone. Recall the times when we bump into old friends on street and you might hear something like, "Hey, see you soon!" or "Let's catch up, man!" and you know some of these, are the dates you won't keep or take place. They're merely passing remarks for temporary comfort or for courtesy's sake.

And, I love to mentally place bets on dates which I know will happen and which won't. It's like giving myself a certain degree of validation to which friend I know won't let me down and who will.

Of course, thank you, you. For not fulfilling ours. For proving me right. For everyone else to have been right all along. For propelling me further away from you. To finally let me agree with the rest, what a douche you've been. Thank you for making this whole lot easier; for making it coming to a final end. Can't believe how it's almost a year now. There will definitely be days where I find myself missing you, but rest assured, it's not gonna be as often as before. Admit it: you fucked up bad.

I didn't even cry this time.
I know I'm over it.
Over you

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