BOOB-TALK

The title intrigues you, isn't it? Because, sex always sells.

Yes, out of nowhere today, I have decided to talk about breasts. It's not an advert but just a little rant that's been on my mind. I usually discuss about the common emotional insecurities we often have but never the physical. Despite being heavily-influenced by media, I want to allow myself to see the beauty in every human being. I wish my brain will not be so quick to detect and specifically pick out the features deemed beautiful for me because of the media it's been fed with, instead let my eyes discover the beauty itself. I am not a fan of how we've been wired to selectively pick what's beautiful and what's not since young, by the things we see on television, magazine, billboards and the people around us. In short, we've "brainwashed". 

Just like any other normal girls, there are days when I'd compare my body to someone else's. There are just days when I don't feel too good about myself either. No one, I'm 100% sure, no one feels completely sure about themselves anyway and that's the truth about life. If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one worrying about your insecurities. I too, worry about them. And that's okay. Facing each's own set of insecurities is just like having the need to cry. You have to let it all out. You need to acknowledge what you think is ugly and embrace them. If you can't make peace with your own flaws, you'll never feel comfortable about yourself.

I like lean and slender body with small classy breasts like the ones I own but media and people often make me feel otherwise. Sometimes I wish I'm not born Asian just so I can embrace my body better than I can as an Asian. In my very humble opinion, just like how Marilyn Monroe is regarded as the sex symbol because she's fuller and curvaceous, Kate Moss or any other woman of the same size should also carry the symbol of free-spirit and liberation. I like lean and slender bodies with small classy breasts because I've been told beautiful things don't seek for attention -quoted from Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Then again, studies have shown how humans tend to find their own or people whom they love facial/body features more appealing than others. One of the plausible explanations for is that our brains naturally register the constant exposure we have to these features hence we find them aesthetically comforting to look at. Like how certain food reminds us of home and that is how it is for features too. Aaaaand possibly because of that, I tend to view women of my category much more appealing than others because I wish for my beauty to be recognised too.

I wanna feel okay being Kate Moss because people tend to prefer Angelina Jolie anyway. I love both of them to death but I hate how they both stand for two very different definition of beauty. I love my body but having to deal with the thought of convincing/hoping someone would love me or my body as much as I do is hard. The society has made most men obey this particular set of women perfection ideals since young. Sometimes straying from those ideals or being a little different, could easily make women be seen less.

So if you're wondering what's one of my insecurities among the many other, it would be -wanting to feel okay being Kate Moss but at the same time, I wish I am born Angelina Jolie to feel like more of a woman in this society. I'm just torn between these two beauty ideologies. And because there's no right or wrong to this, it's a real eternal struggle.

I'm not sure if I've made sense but life is just a fucking beauty contest.

Nonetheless, love yourself because you don't need anyone else.

P/S Unknowingly I just altered your definition of beauty a little by feeding you with mine sorry

I AM STARTING SCHOOL SOON!!!

Yes guys! Sorry, I've been keeping it a secret for quite some time because I wasn't sure if I was entirely sure.... But now that I know I am almost 75% certain (and that school is starting), I guess it's imperative for me to share such a huge piece of news with you guys hehehehe ^^

The next milestone of my life will take place at SIM University of Buffalo!!!!!!! I'll be conquering Bachelor of Communications. For how long? I'm still uninformed about that. Information on exemption will only be disclosed on the first day of school (26 May)!!!!!! *omg* 

I went for the school briefing today and I've met some people from my course. With this vague introduction and interaction with a few, I sincerely hope my first day wouldn't be as bad as I imagined. I had a good vibe of the batch and they all seemed rather nice. I mean, yeah it's probably too soon to judge but I made a friend today *yay* and I guess one is sufficient (for  now right?) haha. It's always comforting to have something familiar to fall back on in times of doubt. I'm sure that one precious friend will come in handy on the first day. No matter how old we get, it's still in us to seek comfort from another being. No one is ever too strong for occasions like that.

Little did I expect, (though my friends already warned me) to meet people whom already "know" me. It's flattering and Singapore just proves herself to be smaller then ever. I am always intimidated by the idea of meeting people whom already have an impression of me (now you know why I'm concerned about the flea) because I struggle with the fear of not being able to meet the expectation of the Irina you paint in your head. Everyone of you holds a different idea of me from the information I choose to disclose and because of that, the real me might seem a little far-fetched from what I've portrayed.

I am nothing like my Instagram. I'm... a lot more human and real, with a little goofiness yet packed with whole lot unglam moments. So if you happen to be my classmate and I appear to be different than what you think, I'd like to apologise beforehand for the disappointment I unknowingly caused. Though so, I assure you I'm pretty fun to be around hehehe.

Besides all that, I haven't been well-rested since I got back from Bangkok. My schedule's rather.... hectic. I forgo the UB orientation camp (20-22 May) which is supposed after the school briefing today, because I've too many things at hand to deal with and I've to clear them before school starts. Else, I don't know how I'm gonna juggle.

Yeap, that's about it to this short update! 

More posts coming up soon, I just need more time hehe.

HERE COMES THE....

.... unrelated overdue photos in my phone haha. I need to be more consistent on my life updates here, without feeling complacent that most of these are already on Instagram. Anyway, I hope you guys have been well. It's Mother's Day today. And my mom's away haha. It's pretty shit to sit at home and scroll through Instagram/Twitter/Facebook feed and look at all the lovely photos you guys are posting haha.

It's depressing that I can only wish my mom's here so we can go out on date like everyone else haha. I'm whining like I'm loverless on Valentine's Day, gosh. Then again, we celebrated in advance last week. I got my aunt, granny and mom whatever they wanted. Pretty thankful that I saved enough and started wayyy earlier so I am not damned-ass broke now. I've got 3 ladies to please so it's imperative that I plan months ago haha.

So yeah, let's start the usual rounds of updates!

1. iLIGHTS WITH ZACHARY

What is iLights? Till today, I'm still not very sure what it was but it seemed like a pretty cool temporary light exhibition. The entire trail was made of light displays which I believed had something to do with Earth Hour(?) Something ought to be done about educating people behind the purpose of it else.... objective not met, isn't it? The setup was really nice and creative. Things like that always fascinate me so I couldn't give it a miss and so glad I made it on the last day.

Who is Zachary? I'm sure some of you would wonder and ask because there'd be some pretty misleading photos so let me clarify that Zachary is my poly friend. We were in the same elective class. We worked on several projects together. We were close. We even spoke about travelling together and all, but they just never happen. We stopped contacting for a bit and got back in touch recently so we caught up over iLights.

Pasarbella had a pop-up thing ongoing outside MBS. It complemented the entire place really well.

I almost wish they'd base there forever.

The very much raved about Omakase burger which I personally don't see what's the hype about

HERE'S A TIP TO IMPRESS SOMEONE: Get your friend to stand directly opposite you in this.... massive round thing outside MBS. And whisper across to your friend. Whisper. Trust me, your friend will be able to hear it as long as he/she's directly opposite you. So y'allllll... if you've a confession to make but too shy, you can do it this way hehehe so cheesy maigawd.

The uncle's damn cute cause he honestly thought we were an item.

This board changes with different lines every few seconds. I jumped in for a photo and guess what I got? Hahahahaha. It's pretty apt I'd say.

And the couple below had the best line ever hahahaha

On our way back, Zach and I saw this couple. As we were having conservation, my eyes naturally set on them. There wasn't anything else to look at so I started to observe them. They fell asleep so quick within minutes onboard, I was in disbelief. The couple was discussing about something. As she checked her phone, they instantly... INSTANTLY fell asleep. My heart gave way. What kind of tough odd job do they have to survive like this; being this exhausting, going home this late.

Zach suggested to pass them some money. This was when the dilemma came in. What was the morally right thing to do.  Was giving the excess to someone else an act of kindness or pity? Money has always been a sensitive issue, hence the root of all evil. It's tough. As the mini debate went on in my head, Zach stood up and approached the sleeping couple. I couldn't help myself and I held him back. I stopped him. I just couldn't let him go any further. Simultaneously, her phone dropped and they woke up. Till today, we weren't sure if it's a blessing in disguise.

What if we didn't take that long to decide and manage to leave them the extra cash, would their lives have been better for that week/month? What if they refuse.... in a rather defensive way? The struggle was real. We wanted to help so badly yet we didn't know what to do. They looked like they could seriously use some help. While all these were going on in our head, they alighted at the very next stop. 

Zach and I sat there wide-eyed. Seconds later, we thought about rushing out to pass them the money and... at the same time, decided not to. Till today, I battle with the unintended regret. Was it rational of me or was it the lack of courage to make a difference? Is it bad to hold myself back in such situations? But seriously who would say no to extra cash? I know I wouldn't. Why do some people make the world so fucking hard to read and complicated. Sigh.

2. WORK

For those who've followed me closely would have known I was busy with work in the earlier month, April. So much so that it was almost back to back working and it's rather exhausting though very much fulfilling. I didn't think I've so many photos to show. Putting them together now is like, woah that's quite an amount so yeah here's a category to 'Work' itself. 

When you do something often enough, you get so used to it. It didn't occur to me to take photos as often as before. And when you're the only model who's doing that, you'd look really amateur -being so easily excitable by clothes, shoes, makeup and all- haha. So yeah.

Ok... Being in this line, being immune to good-looking people, it's rare for me to gush about good-looking guys. Good-looking doesn't equate attractive. It's not easy to spot attractive guys, really. And this season, ain't I lucky to find one hahahaha.  This guy here, in the stealth photo I took, yes he's charming as hell.

Getting a wig is always fun for shows

This was probably when the caffeine effect was at its peak.

Gwen (my soulsista) went to support and watch me stomped down this long ass -approx. 1.2km from Ion to Paragon and back to Ion- runway in heels. She tried taking a few snaps but yknow.... you can never get a decent photo from a fashion show unless you're equipped with dslr haha. So that above is Daniel and I'm... in the photo below. It's really hard to tell us apart on the runway when everyone looked pretty much the same with the similar wig on.

With all the hardwork in April, I'm rewarding myself to a holiday this coming Tuesday!!!! I'll be going to Bangkok from 13-18th!! So if there's anything you'd like me to buy, you can drop me an email with attached photos and maybe I can help you search for it. And then, you can get it from me at the flea ;-)  But of course, no promises guys. Only if I happen to see whatever you're looking for, I'll try to fulfil that favour yeah.

3. MADE BY LAUREN JASMINE

We interrupted a pigeon picnic while we were on our way to Made by Lauren Jasmine cafe at 47 Amoy Street.

Not only you can eat there, but you can do some shopping upstairs! I love the brands Eclecticism carry. They have Minkpink, Free People, American Apparel. These are the awesome brands we see on ASOS and thought, hey that's a little expensive and we don't know if the clothes will fit. With Eclecticism now at Made by Lauren Jasmine and also Wheelock, I can now shop for my favourite brands physically *whoopeeeee*

In a sponsored Minkpink bottom

All in all, they've a lot of other cool stuff like shades, accessories, candles etc. Just add Made by Lauren Jasmine into your cafe hopping list and maybe you'll love them as much as I do cause the cakes (and the service) there are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. TRIANGL SWIMWEAR

What did I do to get this lucky?! I received two sets of Triangl swim wears and a set of underwear, courtesy of Triangl. Aaaaand now, I feel like purchasing a few more sets of underwear on my own!!!! They're awfully cool and comfortable! Australia has got a lot of lovely swimwear brands but they're all actually rather pricey and I think Triangl happens to fall in the rather comfortable range. If you look through Nastygal, the swim wears are all above $150 or so? So yeah, get yourself a Triangl today, hit the beach 2 weeks later, feeling like a boss in such a head-turning piece.

5. TANJONG BEACH CLUB

Nat's tiny waist

Because the dude at the back couldn't stop looking, Nat directed me to take the shot below hahahaha

I need to start doing something to get some abs, to be more defined. My body is indeed leaner now (than in the picture) with the help of SkinnyMint. I no longer bloat like usual during my menses, it's amazing. And yes, didn't think I'd lose anymore weight but I did. So a smart girl would wanna take advantage of such situation and get back on her exercise routine else it's all going to waste.

6. NEILL'S A COOK

The lovely thing about making friends from other countries is definitely, the cultural exchange. Neill, a Taiwanese model from my agency who got here 2 months ago decided to share his known hometown dish with us and it's delicious!!!

Perfecccccccct. If you ask "Irina, can you cook?"

I wouldn't know what to say to such question because everyone's definition of cooking capability seems to be different. If you're talking about cooking at Neill's level, then obviously hell no. But if you're talking about starting the fire successfully and whipping up an omelette, hell yeah Irina can cook! ;-)

OK I GUESS THAT'S ALL TO THIS UPDATE.

Hope my updates like this still interest you guys hehe.