Sunday, May 04, 2014


An Open Letter To My Ex's Potential New Girlfriend(s)

Here. The title shocks you, doesn't it? Don't worry, guys. I know what I am doing. I am fine. I read an entry from Thought Catalog some time ago which caught my attention enough for me to pen such an unnecessary (in your opinion) yet important (to me) blog post. Have a read here before you start on mine.

Ah, time flies. It's been almost a year or more since the separation. For those who've followed me long enough to know what happened, thank you so much for conscientiously being here for me virtually the entire time; watching me heal. Yes, I am still healing and I am healing well. 

This. This moving on thing is bound to happen and it is important for the both of us to face it. Singapore is real small. I rather come to terms with the fact that we're both gonna end up with someone new eventually than feigning ignorance about the whole matter. 

You might think, "Hey Irina, don't you think this is a little unnecessary to dig out all the old emotions you've just buried and think about everything all over again? I mean, just let it be. Just let it slide. Just let nature take its course." Yeah you might think so but let me tell you, in this day and age, who doesn't stalk? She, will definitely end up here or on my Instagram page, trying to find bit and pieces of J. And I just can't let her scroll through this page looking for the things she needs blindly. I'm going to help her because it feels like that's the least I can do though I am aware that I don't have to actually.... do anything at all.

Be mindful that:
This entry of mine, is not meant to be targeted at anyone specifically at the moment. I have no idea if he's seeing someone (because I choose to have absolute ZERO knowledge over his life updates). If he is, I guess this comes at the right timing. If he's not, it'll definitely be useful someday.

I'm sorry if this comes off slightly bitter to you, I guess it's inevitable to feel a tad that way isn' it? This is probably the last hurdle to acceptance and I'm crossing over now.

See you on the other side, guys ;-)


  1. Dear Irina,
    Thank you for your humble later. This is indeed nice. For whatever reason you do it, i hope you enjoy what you've done.
    This is the reply that i could manage to give to you.

    First of all, you're such a lovely person, no wonder J once fell hardly in love with you. You're pretty, and a good writer too. I enjoy scrolling to your blog and know you better as a person from it. The thoughts and who you really are were shown enough in your blog and it feels like i already know you in person.

    It's nice that you consider my feelings towards your experience with him. I understand he once cheated on you and i felt bad for you about it. I knew about it and i'll say, i accept that fact, i accept he made mistakes in the past. If he happens to cheat again,who knows? the only important thing for now is that i love him and ready to accept any consequences. If he does, it means he doesn't deserve to be with someone who is faithful, like you, but people changes, so i hope he has changed as well. For me, what i do is to love, because that's my desire, for him to do whatever he decides to do is, at the end, his problem.

    I don't get intimidate with the fact that you guys were together, i mean who has that insecurities? Grown ups knows that people has life history. I have one too, and lucky enough for me, it's not as bitter as yours (with being cheated and all), i'm sure i can handle his past because i have that mindset of never looking back. I know exactly why he decided to cheat on you and why he chose me now. So, with all the matter of facts, i'm fine and ready.

    I thank God everyday that i've already loved my self before i love someone else. I might not be the strongest people in this world, but i think i'm not fragile either. I have dark past, but it's gone and i've let go, i've forgiven and i'm forgiven, so i think i'm fine with who i am now, ready to be in love.

    I'm learning about him little by little and it's fascinates me in so many ways. He's indeed an amazing person with a lot of flaws, and somehow, that flaws makes me fall in love with him even more. It's weird. But what can i say,right? Love makes us weird. <3 He already is perfect and none of his dirty laundry makes me blink one time. (katy perry enough?haha) I don't wanna change a thing about him.

    At last, i just wanna say, thank you for doing this. thank you for making this later because then i know better about his past. I have no worries about meeting you and i hope you will someday find the one who will loves you unconditionally.

    With tons of lots and blessings,
    You'll find out who.

  2. I don't think your open letter to anonymous is bitter at all, Irina.

    I can't say the same for the above comment though; there is an overwhelming stench of insecurity and bitterness all over it masquerading as a perfume of goodwill. What irony, because "who has that insecurities?" /shrugs

  3. Hey Irina! D here! Been a long time since I've last spoken to you after you shut down Just wanna let you know this is one of the most beautiful things I've read and you inspire.

  4. Wow what an amazing write up. This feel so deep to me as i feel like im the 'new' girl in my own relationship. Im still learning about him eventhough its gg be two years together. Thanks Irina :)