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Backgrounder

If you didn't already know, my skin is really sensitive - something I only realised one or two years back after getting my first bad breakout after puberty. It doesn't help that my part-time job gradually deteriorates the health of my skin by exposing it to different types of makeup during work. With such a number of foundation, blusher, powder applied on me I find it hard to keep track of whether they are suitable for my sensitive skin. As a model, you either bring your own foundation (and that's only if they allow you to use your own personal stash) or otherwise, grin and bear it. As such, you might once in a while meet makeup artists who don't take much pride in their job, leading to nasty encounters with dirty brushes and whatnots. 

"Ew" I know. This was a makeup artist's kit from one of the shows I did before the breakout. I would not say the hygiene of this kit directly caused the poor condition of my skin, but I'm also not saying it didn't either. I honestly don't know. It could be the hormones or it could be the gradual accumulative trauma effect from all these experiences I had at work. Hence, leading to the breakout.

No, it wasn't easy tackling skin problems.

1. I had to work. It wasn't easy going to work bare faced when your face was not at its tip-top state. Your self-esteem would naturally plunge as you compare yourself to other models working around you and worse, you start feeling bad for the makeup artist who has more work to do because of all the facial flaws she has to conceal. 

2. People say things like, "Oh, let your skin breathe!! Don't cover up. Let the pimples heal...", but really? The dilemma as to whether to put makeup or not wasn't easy to resolve. In the situation where your skin is under the attack of evil of pimples, I think, or rather I would naturally grasp for any concealers and foundations within reach in desperation, earnestly hoping that they would mask every trace of my insecurities. 

3. Eyes. Talking to people wasn't easy. Why? If you've or had skin problems, you'd understand how it is absolutely difficult to hold a conversation when you notice their eyes constantly straying to the concerned areas on your face. 

4. "What happened to your face??!!" that question becomes the epitome of rubbing salt into the wound.

Tried Seeking Help

I visited a known dermatologist centre that had been (still is, btw) aggressively advertised by many bloggers, in hope that it would be my best option. I paid $1.2K (!!!) upfront because.... ya la, to be honest, I was swayed by the convincing sales person and not forgetting the army of bloggers they sponsored. I went for a SINGLE facial session and NEVER returned eversince.

"You'll definitely not leave with your skin looking red. I promise! We are located in town leh. Do you think we would let you leave looking bad in town?" 

I was promised the above when I shared about my bad facial experience in my teenage years and how I hate walking out with red marks after the sessions. It just doesn't make sense how one can walk out looking much worse than before and to accept the absurdity of situation as part of the "recovery process"... That promise above was gold and immediately, I was SOLD. $1.2K. Ok.

And that, my friends, was the worst decision I had made in 2014. 

I left without looking at the mirror. The room was possibly strategically dimly lit anyway, so I didn't have the chance to scrutinise my face. Oblivious, I went home only to realise how bad my face was flaring with all the hideous red marks. It was so so bad. I know I should have taken photos for reference purposes but honestly, I was utterly damaged... a photo was the last thing on my mind and, far from comforting. 

Photos Don't Lie

Then, I received an email from Caring Skin. They asked if I was keen to take up an aesthetic-related blogging assignment. I was obviously apprehensive about it after the last experience. Eventually, I agreed to it after being guaranteed with the assurance of results. "In the event that your skin reacts badly to the treatment, Caring Skin will bear all the necessary costs for dermatologist treatments." Very professional. 

On my first visit, I had a chat with the Relationship Manager, Subrina. She analysed my skin with a machine that detects what your skin is currently lacking of - moisture? elasticity? etc. From there, they then decide the ideal treatment for your skin (a very, very good use of technology). 

Again, I was met with consoling words, "Don't worry. There will be no red marks. Our customers don't walk out with flaring red marks unless the pimples are already flaring. We only make it better, not worse." This time, I tried to take it with a pinch of salt. After all, I had nothing much to lose. My skin was already bad. If anything went wrong, they would be held liable. 

And unknowingly, this chance I took with Caring Skin turned out to be one of my best decision's ever in 2014. Caring Skin turned out to be my self-esteem saviour.

This was me with full on makeup and good lighting. It was very frustrating that the marks left by healed pimples were still visible despite my efforts to conceal them. They were way more obvious in real life.... you'll see later (continue scrolling)

Before removing makeup

After removing makeup

Areas of concern: Forehead, sides of cheeks, neck

Look at how bad my skin was. If Caring Skin is truly not as good as it is, I wouldn't have bothered disclosing such personal photos to you guys. Because I know it might help some of you out there who're battling skin issues, as much as it had helped me, 

*** And only after a few sessions***

TAKE NOTE OF THE DATE: 8th October to 22 October

My skin was quickly clearing up ^^

Most of the pimples had cleared, leaving only a few stubborn ones left.

And yes, this Nano treatment I did really help a lot with whitening.

By November, I was able to take no makeup selfies *grateful* I know this might sound a tad exaggerating but it's possible if you're determined enough. I diligently went for the treatments fortnightly after school, watched my diet, drank more water, tried to gt enough rest..... and stopped taking up runway gigs. Now, I'm only modelling for online stores, the risk of getting contaminated is a lot lower compared to having a make up artist sharing her brushes with 10 other runway models and myself.

Physically, it was effortless.

Mentally, it definitely is not easy battling skin problems. Irina understands the pain, which is why Irina chooses to disclose honest photos for you guys to see. No one should ever feel ashamed about having a solvable problem. The possible solution is potentially right here. I'm not saying the treatment will 100% work on you, I'm no doctor, but I've seen results and happy customers going in and out Caring Skin, and I am one of them. 

It's a very healthy, humble and cosy environment. Nothing fancy. The founder, herself lives to make others feel better about themselves through healthier skin. Instead of texting me to chase for the blog entry (like many clients would), she always checks if I'm doing alright after the facial session. And trust me, I can tell that it's all genuine. I'm certain that I'm getting this treatment not because I'm a blogger but because I'm a "patient" of hers. I brought my good friend there today and I'm pleased to say, she likes the place as much as I do.

The first trial only costs $88 while dermatologist's consultation easily costs up to $100 or more. Why not give it a go?

Caring has successfully treated my skin in a timespan of less than 3 months. I have now totally recovered from my breakout AND enjoyed being pampered by Caring's beauticians with face and shoulder massages in the process of recovery - physically, it was effortless (except the extractions ouch!!!!)

Knowing that its treatment is both safe and effective, I confidently urge you guys with troubled skin to go for a trial and see it for yourself if Caring is for you. There will not be any hard selling on their end, don't worry.

P.S. Not saying it's only for troubled skin, if you wanna look good for Valentine's or Chinese New Year, by all means, because I just pampered myself today too hehe.

Thank you

Looking back, I am really appreciative of those who had been by my side when I felt the ugly in my life. They looked me straight in the eyes without making me feel self-conscious about my poor skin condition. They did not make me feel any less beautiful. Also: I started dating Yi Ming at that point of time. I really don't know how he managed to see past it all.

It is very comforting to know that the state of my skin does not dictate who I am, though it did momentarily take a toll on my mental being. No matter how many times people say, beauty is skin deep.... we realistically understand that beauty on the inside can't get you free drinks at the bar.

Very Useful Information

Treatments I did: Nano Perfector
How many sessions: less than 12
Usual price: $280 (Per Session)
Special Promotion: “IRINA” for first trial of Nano Perfector at $88 and free eye-treatment on Off-Peak hours (11am-4pm) worth $88 * Valid till 30 April 2015

Book your appointment at:

www.caringskin.com.sg
facebook.com/CaringSkin
http://instagram.com/caringskin

No Photowonder no shit. This selfie was taken today after facial, no foundation but only with eyebrows drawn and lipstick on (for ootd purposes). Look forward to receiving happy emails from you guys, about how amazing you think Caring is too.

HELLO AGAIN

How have you guys been? Hope your year end break was good enough to revitalize your soul for 2015. I haven't done up a New Year post because 1) it's a little too late now and 2) this post, as of now, is far more important to me.

Some of you may have noticed Yi Ming's departure on the 13th. So for the past few days, I've been trying to get my life back on track and just... be brave. I'm, slowly but surely, retuning myself to where I was before. Don't get me wrong. I'm okay and still happy; just that I can't deny it's tough doing this whole separation thing all over again or rather, again and again. I've been trying to put away these feels because I didn't think it was necessary for me to confront or reconcile with them. I thought I'd get used to feeling this way but they remained as raw as before. 

I'm writing this post to the most recent mixtape Ming made me. We always make each other's mixtapes since our first..... date(?). In fact, that's how it all started (though that's another story altogether).

Sidenote: Sweetie, I'm likin' the first song so far. Good job!

He really wanted to embed the playlist here as a surprise for me yesterday when the new mixtape was ready, but the silly boy didn't know how haha. Now, while he's asleep, I shall help him do so.

Because there has to be 8 tracks for the playlist to be published, I included my recent mix for him too.  Don't get your hopes up. No expectations, no disappointments. But I genuinely, do hope you discover some songs you might like in there.

"It gets easier."

For those who're currently in a long-distance relationship, whoever told you the above was probably lying. They were just trying to be polite but at the same time, had unknowingly offered you some false sense of security, because I don't think it gets any easier. It doesn't.

When you wave goodbye at the airport with the glass screen in between you and him, that alone feels like enough distance to take on. If you allow me to be melodramatic, I'd even go with how the physical pang of emptiness, deep inside, as your heart aches with the realization that ‘missing you’ doesn’t even begin to cover how much you miss him. I made it a point to not cry at the airport, at least not in front of him. Simply because, in situation like this, being strong for each other is a lot more important than putting the needs of one self first. So fight those tears and smile.

"It gets easier."

How is that possible when you have to be apart from someone you find yourself more in love with each day? How can that statement even justify the complications experienced from leaving someone you wish to keep closest to these days?

The worst thing besides the distance, would be the newfound desperation you discover when you're unexpectedly teased by the bad wifi (your boyfriend chose to attached himself to at the airport); just as he called to let you know he's safe after a 14-hour flight and that he missed you very much. When you have to experience clutching your phone tight to the receiver to trace any hint of connection back to him and repeatedly echo "hello" as you anxiously await for a reply, the realisation of distance will hit you hard and the feeling of being so out-of-reach will consume you whole. That's when you have to resign to reality - ok, stay sane and let's do this again.

We juggle with extremes of proximity. Being TOO FAR and TOO CLOSE and then TOO FAR again in the span of half a year can easily screw up any couple dynamics because the time needed to grasp the reality and to get comfortable again with the circumstances we are in is undoubtedly a feat.

It's always nice when the ringing finally stops, the line gets through with no interference and the voice you're familiar with gently coos, "Hi bb."

I'll be strong. 

I'll be even stronger when I see happy couples together, laughing, smiling and holding hands and doing all the things I wish I could be doing with you. 

I'll be strong for us.

Our Winter break was lovely. We had a lot of fun travelling around and even in Singapore itself, we truly had a blast. Despite you being 10924.916 km away, it's a nice thought to know someone always has you tucked away in the back of his mind as you both go about living separate lives.

When I have finally acknowledged how this is all just a temporary logistical challenge, it's much easier to come to term with the distance because if we are in for the long haul, we have bigger things to worry about.

Always come home safe to me

Despite all the shit LDR is known for, we try to stay focus and I hang on specifically for that moment when he lands in the arrival hall. We would both be engulfed with excitement so much so that no one should fault us for having the goofiest smile across our face. Because we've learnt to live in the moment and for those moments, it makes you believe there is no limit to how far love can travel.

Till the next flight home, baby.