Monday, May 06, 2013


There were no sex classes. No friendship classes. No classes on how to navigate a bureaucracy, build an organization, raise money, create a database, buy a house, love a child, spot a scam, talk someone out of suicide, or figure out what was important to me. Not knowing how to do these things is what messes people up in life, not whether they know algebra or can analyze literature.
William Upski Wimsatt

There are so many things I don't get these days, which should have been addressed in school so we don't have to mess up our minds now cracking for some ambiguous answers. In school, there's a definite answer to most questions, sucks how life isn't the same.

Why do we complicate things so much these days? Why does it seem like the more educated we are, the more devious we get, the more selfish we become, the more we try to hurt...? Why is it back in those days morale values seem to hold much more importance than today.

Girls, whatever happened to falling in love genuinely and not for materialistic values? Why do we swoon over guys who drive, guys who splurge, guys who live in landed property? Why is everything now about dollars and cents? Soon, the phrase 'money can't buy happiness' would no longer be valid to our kids, cause honestly we are much happier wealthy. We all need financial security. Hence, many are pursuing their happiness which seems to be in monetary value. But the debate here, it's the ways we use to achieve success? (insert Malaysian Voting Blackout as exemplary example)

People in love today. What is love to you? Are you just lonely? Or is your heart truly big enough to love someone more than yourself? I've just read an article about how we should never get into a relationship waiting to feel complete but having someone to share an experience; to start a new journey together. The way I say it might not make sense, but the snippet is below, you can see it later. I've accepted the fact that love is will never be 50:50 but why is that majority get into relationship thinking they are going to receive more than they give? Why are we selfish? Why are we turning ugly? Or is this my biased view? Am I turning into one of those I-hate-the-world peeps?

To survive such a heartbreaking society, many see the need to toughen themselves up with walls higher than Berlin's. Everyone has their own form of defense mechanism. Some in form of speech, some in silence. Some in form of gestures, some in retaliation. Some put on masks, some in denial. I... for one, like to push people away when I'm afraid, I only like to be confronted when I'm ready. I like to pretend I don't care even if I care too much. I feel safe ignoring feelings I should confront. In a way or another, we are all puss isn't it haha?

And, is it just me or things are being taken more lightly these days? I'm just gonna go straight to fidelity.  My friend, a close friend of mine, saw his good friend's husband hanky panky with some other girl in the club. Someone please enlighten me cause I don't fucking get it. I don't understand the need to sleep around. Like, are you deprived or something? You took your vows, why does it seem like it's nothing? Vows are vows. Huge thing! I feel like I don't live in the same world as those people. Really.

I know sex and orgasms are good, but to me, investing in a relationship is much more valuable than meaningless sex. Those happiness are not long-term, just so you know. Going to club, seeing girls throwing themselves at guys these day is really a sight I wish to erase "Hey hey, keep some class will ya" You girls are beautiful, make them crave for you, why sell yourself cheap just cause some dumb ass once broke your heart? I wish I can make a change in the way people think. I wish I've bigger heart to love the broken ones.

Why are we so screwed?

Ok, I'm done ranting.


  1. I don't get it either. :( I was just thinking the same thing recently too, totally non creepy i hope. But it kinda scares me. I feel like I am an old soul trapped in this generation. Correct me if I'm wrong but a wonderful relationship would be 2 parties who have the same thinking that someone's happiness is much more important? And if one person is so but the other isn't, there is bound to be heartbreak.

    And it scares me because I now know that there are so few people out there with the same thinking as me and putting myself out there with that thinking, I'm only gonna get hurt.

    Sigh. Confused much.

    1. Hello there!

      I think we just have to stand firm to our beliefs, otherwise it'll be worse for next generations. I like whatever I believe in and I'll keep it that way. I truly hope my other half (if he's somewhere out there) won't give up in his beliefs and hang in there till we meet. Hope yours too, cause when we all do meet one day, we will be so grateful we didn't abandon our thinking just to conform.

      Your parents will be proud of you too. You're doing the right thing :-)

    2. I know but sometimes it gets so hard. In case you don't know, I'm the same person who commented earlier on your post ending off with may we both find happiness.

      Dyou still miss J? Cause even though I know I deserve better, I still miss him hell loads and wish I mattered more for him to be the man I need him to be. ): Wish all these pain and hurt could just disappear. Wish Lacuna existed sometimes. Sigh.

    3. Hello again!!

      Well, yes I do miss J. We are currently friends, trying to work things out. Yes, there's definitely someone better out there for you, for me. But yknow babe, grass will always be greener on the other side. Till you get married, other husbands will always seem to be better than yours. Just see if he's putting enough effort to fight for the relationship to have another go. Otherwise babe, don't waste time. We're young. We should explore options. You're a nice girl. Don't limit yourself. Yes it's hard, but if we don't move on, we will be too blinded and miss other opportunities ahead :-)