RIIIIGHT.....

Exactly....

MAKE UP PRODUCTS VLOG

Yes, I haven't been feeling well.

Yes, my eyelid sticker is distracting.

Yes, who cares I was home anyway.

Yes, I made an effort to do this though I don't have to.

Please understand that I am not earning like all the other bloggers because I don't want to be commercialized. So be a friend and not a reader instead, to spare a thought and give me some space as to when I would like to put up an entry because I'd like to see this as a platform for sharing and not solely for your entertainment. It's difficult to churn out all the subtitle text for this video cause it's by far my longest video. The sound was pretty soft and I was afraid the construction noise would get in the way so... yeah. That's why I took so long. I've been really busy. Today's my good friend's birthday. I'm so excited to throw her the surprise we've planned. Hope it goes smoothly. 

OK BYE FOR NOW!!!

BKK IN A FEW HOURS

“When you’re traveling, you are what you are, right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. 
No yesterdays on the road.” - William Least-Heat Moon

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Was supposed to upload this video yesterday night but I fell asleeeeep...

Have an awesome week ahead you lovely people!!!

IT'S BETTER TO NOT KNOW THAN TO ABUSE

"Butterflies can’t see their own wings, so they don't know how beautiful they are."

"We are like butterflies too." 

 Blogging in points: 

1. Taking off to Bangkok on Sunday

2. Yet to make a mental list on what to pack

3. Thinking of doing BKK vlog (no guarantee)

4. Oh, note-to-self: bring portable charger!!!

5. I've been to BKK before but it's always with family, so this time I'd be able to explore more

6. Do let me know if you know of any cool/underground/hidden places to share, thank you very much in advance :')

7. I can't wait to get away, considering how this long holiday hasn't been thaaaaat beneficial for me

8. Wanted to blog in points because I didn't wanna think about putting proper sentences and stringing them together and now it seems like my sentences are getting longer as I progress.

9. Ok, stop the whole sentence thing

10. Why am I such a sentence-whore

11. Why did I just degrade myself

12. Why am I not making sense

13. Ok, gonna stop now

14. Goodnight you bunch of sweet things

15. Tomorrow's a better day

DON'T JUDGE ME BECAUSE I'M ONLY HUMAN

Every couple had their special song and this was ours

I intentionally include this song in my latest playlist (below) simply because I genuinely think it's a good song, not because of the significance it holds (I wish this is true). I sincerely wish to regard it as an ordinary song, with no memories attached. Just a awhile ago, I was listening to the entire playlist and I heard it. I shouldn't have. Really. Because, I wasn't expecting this whirlpool of emotions to slap me and I am very overwhelmed right now. 

Everyone gotta love someone/ But I just wanna love you dear

Everybody gotta feel something/ I just wanna be with you my dear

It was his birthday few days back. I never thought it'd be so tough to get by August. It sucks that I'm constantly thinking about what we were just doing last year. I was so busy planning for his birthday the entire month of July. I feel so uneasy right now, doing almost nothing (for him). Indeed, it's a matter of choice to choose what to feel. I know it is but I choose to mope over all this crap. I choose to play this song over and over again to wallow in this sadness. I choose to think about it because I want to. In life, you can't relive such moment and experience so why not just face them once and for all so that maybe next year, I will breeze through. 

I thought I could go by the rest of the week acting like it's just any other week but no. I can't. I'm having the hardest time admitting because sometimes, being in denial helps, but truly it doesn't. I am being very transparent and vulnerable right here and right now. If you wanna judge me for being such a huge baby, go ahead but shame on you for being an immature twat. 

I know it's hard I know it's hard/ I know it's hard to be in this position

If they stop loving I won't stop loving you/ 

If they stop needing you I will still need you my dear

Deciding if I should drop him a text on his birthday was by far, the hardest of all in this process, after all we didn't speak ever since. There were so much to think about: 

1. What is the appropriate length for such text?

2. What kind of content is deemed acceptable for a birthday wish from ex?

3. Should I be friendly? Will I come across as too friendly??

4. Should I be nonchalant instead? If so, why should I care to wish in the first place?

5. What time should I send the text? A right time is necessary for I'm afraid to come off as too eager

It's a fucking headache. I was having such a hard time, really. The list went on and on, it definitely surpassed five. In the end, I've got my supportive friends to get me through by sending in a collective text. A collective text is the best solution in this case as it will naturally bring down the level of awkwardness and also help to cushion the fear of rejection. I am a wuss. 

I honestly appreciate myself for being so upfront with all this feelings that I'm going through, instead of just pretending that I'm okay (Good job, Irina) I've figured, by allowing myself to feel, I'd heal faster. And I know I'd wake up tomorrow feeling much stronger and empowered, like... I'm ready bring on the next hurdle man!!! That's just my way of coping/healing/whatever you wanna call this.

You gotta believe me/ When I say/ When I say the word 'forever'

And whatever comes your way/ Oh we'll still be here together

I know it's hard I know it's hard

But I understand you/ Just take my hand

And, yes I know you are in a shithole now. You can't imagine what went through my mind when I got to know. As much as I wanna be an evil ex, break into an evil laughter and hiss, serve you right, I can't. I can't bring myself to do that. You may have become someone I no longer understand/know, still I'll never forget the one I fell in love with; the one who taught me to love kimchi, the one who's afraid of horror movie and bugs, the one whose eyes can't close completely when asleep, the one who's so so pampered. Despite all that you put me through, I really wish I could help you this time round. I've asked around. You've no idea what I did to try. I wish to be there for you, I wish to care. I wish to be the friend you can count on because I know what it's like to have trust issues. Then again, above all that, you need to man up; learn to pick yourself up after a great fall. That's how you'd become the man you've envisioned yourself to be. 

And yesterday, I met a friend of yours who'd successfully messed up my mind. You and your mind games; now I know where you got them from. Whatever he said, lingers clearly in head. As much as I want to convince myself whatever he said was definitely a lie which meant to screw with my head, I can't. Because deep down, I wish it's true.

This is probably PMS. I'm pretty certain.

I'll be fine again tomorrow.

Edited at 11:58PM
For those who're worried, I'm feeling almost alright now.
I guess I just needed to vent/rant. Yes, this must be PMS.

KEEP GOING

MOVIE #11: BEFORE MIDNIGHT

 I've always loved this couple from their very first movie Before Sunrise followed by Before Sunset. Again, Before Midnight blew me away with the genuinity of the plot. I love how the movie is so raw and well-reflected on real life where viewers can all identity with at different stages of life. 

And yes, highly recommended by Irina

This scene shows the vast difference in our generation who believes in practicality than the older generation who believes in possibility of true love and everlasting companionship. And this scene tugged my heart strings definitely, it's so relatable and it's something I've been struggling, trying to figure out if the idea of marriage and love these days is what it is anymore? 

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 Maybe this is why many artists choose to stay in their own bubble and live in their own fantasy safe haven to survive this mad mad world with harsh reality.

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This. I can't even. 

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I hope I didn't spoil anything for you guys hahaha.

For screenshots of the previous sequels:

http://irinatyt.blogspot.sg/2013/04/before-sunrise.html

http://irinatyt.blogspot.sg/2013/04/before-sunset.html

YES, SINGAPOREAN NOW

Should have filmed the video when I looked fresh (like in the pictures)

instead of lazing around till I looked like a mess.

MY READ ON THE TRAIN EARLIER

This is so funny, I've to share hahahaha

Hope you've had a good laugh too hehehehehe

HER INDIFFERENCE IS HER GREATEST LOVE TOOL

Warning: This is definitely not one of those soppy entries on relationship, if you're expecting one. This is something entirely different because we can't just sit around and mope all day.

I know it's not Mother's Day but why is it that we only dedicate entries to moms on Mother's Day when they dedicate almost their entire life to us?

Few nights back, I came in touch with someone I haven't reached out to in awhile. Someone whom I have always watched over from afar because we were never close to begin with. Yet, I still care because I've always seen her as a little sister. She's 3 to 4 years younger than me. She once confided in me about something very personal and ever since I find it in me to naturally look out for her. That night was one of those random nights I happen to think of friends whom I haven't contacted in a while and she happened to cross my mind.

Looking at her now, how she's growing up and all, becoming someone so different yet recognizable, kinda kills me a little inside for I realized if it's so hard for me to watch someone unrelated to me change/grow, it must be heart-wrenching for mothers to watch their baby girls slipping away, becoming "someone else"; from the way they dress, to sudden interest in makeup, to the way they converse in 'hip' lingo, to the way they carry themselves to try to fit seamlessly into the society, meeting society's harsh expectations etc.

That age where curiousity is at its peak, teenagers/pre-young-adults would do anything to feel belong and powerful. That age where self-exploration is most crucial, to battle all the noise and discover who we truly are. And in the midst of finding ourselves, we unknowingly tend to do things we wish we haven't done, things we are not proud of today. Don't you dare me tell me you're not guilty of those? For I definitely am guilty of committing cliches a pre-blossomed young adult would, something as simple as going into unnecessary argument with parents?

My mom, I don't know how she does it but she always has complete trust in me even till today. She has never doubted the things I do or decisions I made. I love how she gives me enough space to explore, be myself, and to breathe. It's great to have privileges like being able to dress the way I want since young and not having someone over-controlling my freedom and  go wherever I want with no worries for curfew even when I was 16....!!! How awesome was that? Please don't get a wrong idea of my mom, it's not that she doesn't care, it's just that she somehow... understands.

She knew deep down, advices will not accelerate a child's growth but experiences will. So, she braced herself and prepared to let me get all bruised up so that I would learn to be a better person. And, I did. We are mostly stubborn people, since when we ever listen to advices? If we all did, our lives would probably be easier and also.... mundane and boring. We would all be robotic. We wouldn't have stories to tell our kids because everything would be do this, do that, yes to this, yes to that. We tend to overestimate what we can do and always underestimate what an advice can do. So I've always found it very wise of my mom to handle me this way. Each time I'm bruised, I'd be running back into her arms like a 5 year-old baby girl. There she will always be, ready to nurse me.

Sometimes I am aware of the way I dress can be a tad revealing, but I am not bothered by it cause I like it. My granny and aunt would usually find it disturbing that sometimes my top is slightly sheer etc. but I'm really proud of my mom in this aspect... she's totally cool with it, she would ignore the pressure from my granny/aunt. Y'know how some parents find it necessary to scold their kids because of the pressure from relatives? My mom doesn't succumb. I realize I'm praising her a lot, but she deserves every single bit of this and I honestly wish I could be like her to my children.

Stepping out of myself and trying to see myself from another perspective: what if I were a mom to myself? I honestly don't think I'd be able to handle myself like how my mom handled me. Now that I think of it, for someone who clubs, I might even flip at the thought of my daughter going to Zouk. Irony.... I know. I'd be so so darn worried since I know how douche guys can be these days in clubs! The fact that I could worry this much for my non-existent daughter, I wonder what kind of battles goes through my mom's head?

She's hella strong woman. I truly applaud her. 

Goodnight.

I WOULD APPRECIATE

... if you guys don't ask me questions regarding uni. This is hard because I am already pressured (by myself) to make a decision to take a gap year or not, to enroll or not, and having you guys asking me questions about it, doesn't make it any easier. I'd appreciate if you guys wanna render help, but I don't have a definite answer for you and it troubles me that I'm still searching for an answer.

Don't get me wrong. I truly adore your enthusiasm for showing concern, but you should also know that I'd share this great news with you guys when I've already decided on a uni right? It doesn't feel good at all, having people asking me "so where are you going?" "have you been accepted?" etc.,  it's just a constant reminder that I haven't settled on anything.

The reason why I'm taking so long is because I'd rather take as much time as I want in deciding than to jump into something, and eventually regret that my degree is irrelevant to whatever I'm gonna do in future. Moreover, I don't really have to explain/tell/inform/report to anyone as to where I'm going isn't it?

Till then, please, please just give me some space to think about where I want to go or what I want to do. Thank you :-)

WHAT'S IN MY BAG VLOG

The bags under my eyes are Prada.

I am so tired. I've been waking up early in the morning because of the construction ongoing downstairs. Please please Irina needs her rest. Tomorrow no more drilling and hammering before 11AM please.

Whoever the anons who asked for this video, I delivered my promise and here you go. Since I recorded the vid with my phone and it's of a higher resolution means a bigger file, it's so much harder to edit because my iMovie keeps lagging!!!! :'(  Sigh, I don't know how long I can keep up with this whole vlog thing; seems like just a fad to me and I'll eventually go back to my boring long-ass entry.

BRACE FACE NO MORE

Was feeling rather apprehrensive fore the entire thing.

Can't believe it's actually happening. I kinda forgot how it was like without braces.

My teeth wasn't very crooked as you can see in the photos below.

It's just the lower set of teeth that looked like tornado swept passed. 

Otherwise, quite passable riiiiiiiiight hahahahahaa.

Left: Upper set of teeth

Right: Lower set of teeth

Total cost: Less than $3K

Where? Emmanuel Dental Surgery

How long? Less than a year! (for me)

HOW PECULIAR

This is for anyone who thought they couldn't make it and they did.

Y'know what's scary about moving on? You start to forget bit by bit about that person who once gave you so much to remember. You start to lose every bit of the romantic feeling you had, even the last butterfly you tried to hold on dearly left. And after all that, you start to question yourself if you ever even loved? What is love? What if you were just going through the motion of being in love and mistaken that as love? Bizarre, isn't it? Cause this is exactly what I am feeling right now and I am not sure if I'm supposed to feel happy or sad that soon, it's all becoming a history.

GMARKET KOREA TUTORIAL

Brace yourself. Irina is finally done with the video.

I've to apologize for the bad sound and video quality and poor editing skill. I'm using Macbook, and the quality fluctuates, as if my Macbook has a life of its own really. I've realized filming in the day actually produces a much  better quality video than in the night. I hope whatever I'm trying to get across is clear enough to you, else you can always ask me on ask.fm!!!


HOPE THIS REALLY HELPS ELSE MY EFFORT WOULD BE IN VAIN :'(

NOT ONLY AN AMAZING TUESDAY BUT AMAZING WEEK

Ladies Night ah ah Ladies Night

It's been a long long while since I partied and that night was a blast for me! I haven't had so so so so so much fun in a long long time. It was so nice seeing Lucas (below in blue). It's been almost half a year since we last saw each other! I don't usually take photos in club but Lucas suggested so because we haven't met for so loooooooong. And here are the photos!!

I err, really had a lot of fun I don't even know or understand why or what was so special that night.

Still, I'm very very grateful.

Pink IC lo!

Most of you probably don't know this, but I was a Malaysian.

My mom applied for citizenship and we got it!!!

I don't really know if this will be my last home, but for now, it's cool :-)

Brought mom to Loysel's Toy cafe, feeling all excited because I wanted to surprise her badly.

When we got off the cab, she was like, "I've been here before..."

WHAT?! WHAT MOM. My mom is secretly a hipster.

She also enjoys the view of cute boys working there, like I do hehe.

Thank you mommy for everything on that random Thursday. I love you so very much.

SGMP3 EXPERIMENT!

It was a very exciting day for me cause I was really looking forward to it!!!!

Before, I go into the details, watch the video below to get an idea of what MP3 experiment is all about! 

So, they organized one in Singapore on Saturday!!! I was pretty apprehensive about how many would actually show up cause not many of my friends knew of the event. I didn't even know until Huisze told me. And we got there, it was such a pleasant surprise to see so so many spontaneous Singaporeans!!!! 

Exactly 2 minutes before 6pm, when we were supposed to press play.

I don't want to go into details of what we did. I'm gonna wait for the compiled video to be ready and post it up for y'all to see! So, be excited and stay tuned!!!!!! Heheheheh.

Random thing we did after the event while walking back to Vivo

I am not gonna start writing how I feel about this event cause once I start, I don't think I'd be able to stop. I can't wait for the video to be up so that I can share it with you guys, to better illustrate what I'm trying to say else y'all probably won't get it. To sum the event in one word, ALIVE. I did things I missed doing as a kid and never thought I could do it with so many others without getting judged. I'm already looking forward to next year's :')

Sunday's Family Day

This is a bad picture of me and my grandma.

She's so beautiful in real life. Nonetheless, ah ma wo ai ni. 

I love spending my Sunday morning with my family. It's okay to wake up early and sacrifice some sleep. It's not easy getting everyone together. It's not easy to have a meal together, feeling all relaxed, uninterrupted by work calls etc. I love Sundays, and maybe everyday too since I'm not troubled by both work and school hehe.