UPDATES

What have I been doing?

Let's start with where I left off the other time which is,

Swedish House Mafia - One Last Tour in Singapore

I did too many things and I don't know how to blog about everything.
So lemme just start with this ;-)

MAD MAD EXHAUSTING NIGHT.

I was already so tired after work, and then just raved all night at SHM's. 

But it was awesome. I took some videos, but it's all noisy, grainy and shaky.

You probably can google and find better ones online.

Partying in Singapore can be quite different (and super safe) from other countries cause we've obviously seen how Tomorrowland and other gigs are like with people smoking it up, drinking it up, flashing tits and what-nots. At One Last Tour, there were a lot of foreigners trying to pull those tricks mentioned above, but were obviously stopped by our securities. Pissed, they started to haul vulgarities and commented on how boring Singapore is and how much we suck. 

Well, I guess, from what I observed at least, in Indonesia, they probably allow cigarettes in club/gigs. The Indonesian guys in front of us lit up their cigarettes so casually as if it's totally okay to smoke in an enclosed air-conditioned place. And there we have, Sweden girls kept trying to flash their tits to SHM. 

I don't even get it. 

To some extent, I feel sad that we are such boring people and that we are narrow-minded to have a totally different party life, but I feel safe here. Safe vs. Boring? Hmm. Actually I don't think we are thaaaaat boring, we have fun in a different way. If you can only have fun by resorting to smoking it up, drinking more than you should, then I see that as stupid. We should be responsible for our and others lives. I mean, after the Zouk incident, and all the other road accidents in Singapore, I just feel we should be more careful. I know, I sound like a typical careful Singaporean now even though I'm not. Oh well haha. Will be moving on to next post! See you there!!!!!!

Edited on 31 Jan @ 11:56AM: 

Oh, not forgetting I found this sweet note few weeks after SHM.

Hehe, my qtpie too cute.

Btw, I need to get my phone's camera fixed. There's always this weird purple spot on every picture.

And I can't find the stain on the lens, so it's probably internal. Okay, k bye!!!!

YOOHOO

I AM BACK

How are you guys doing??? Hope your weekend's been awesome!

I'm feeling so much better nowadays, more lively and upbeat now!

Cause I've a lot of things to look forward to!!!!!!!!!

1. INTERNSHIP

My internship is ending in exactly 10 days time (countdown starts now!). It's gonna be a pity cause I really like some of the people in this company. They're really really fun people to be with. Though I haven't figured out what I am gonna do yet, I believe things will work out just fine. I will let my heart take me to wherever I meant to be. I've been okay since primary school transitory, secondary school transitory, I think I will be okay now as well. So I shouldn't fret so much. Thank you so much to all those who've been showing support and showering love, you guys'll be blessed eternally! :-)

2. CHINESE NEW YEAR 

CNY to kids, youngsters and those who are not married means extra income!!!! $$$$ Also, not forgetting all the new clothes we get to wear. Honestly, CNY hasn't felt like CNY ever since my grandpa passed away. It just feels different. This year CNY will be different since my granny is now the most elder in the family tree, relatives will be visiting us instead. We won't be going anywhere, which is convenient but can be quite boring too... Wear nice nice, then stay home. Whuuuuut.

I miss CNY in Malaysia. It's really a lot better. Malaysians who are reading this, I envy you! 

3. SUBMISSION OF FINAL REPORT

This definitely not something that I look forward to, but why I put this in, is because it kinda marks the official end of my internship and that would make me reaaaaally happy. So I decided to plonk this in here though it's a misfit haha.

4. VALENTINE'S DAY

WOOHOO. Celebrated last year with Jeremy, and I'm excited what this year would be like. I know guys would definitely stress a lot about this but hey, not all girls fancy those high-end restaurants, big flowers, fancy ride etc. Well, at least not me. I really like spontaneous and simple thing. I always remind Jeremy, "Remember you don't have to spend a lot just to have fun." And recently, I think he got what I meant ;-)

What am I gonna do? Hehe. No idea yet, but you'll know when the date arrives. 

Check my updates on Instagram cause I'll definitely blog so so much later haha.

5. PHUKET

Yes guys!!!!!!!!!!!! I am finally going to Phuket. I've been hearing so many beautiful (and some creepy) stories about this place and finally I'm gonna witness it with my very own eyes. I can't wait to step foot on the island, touch the sand, feel the breeze, soak in the sea.... I'm just to excited!!!!!!

I really hope Phuket will be up to my expectation. Else, it'll be a huge disappointment since I'm looking forward to it so so much!!!!!!!!!

6. ZOUK'S MEMBERS PARTY

It is happening again!!!!!!!!!! Zouk's Members Party has always been phenomenal an crazy fun. So this year i doubt it will be an exception, yesssssssss!!!! Last year, the theme was circus and though I was mad drunk and cranky then, I remember how brilliant the set up and everything was. This year's candy land, I am ready to have my mind blown!!! Woohoo. Free boooooozeeeeee~

And guests are allowed to bring a plus one to members' party!

This year, I'm so happy that my plus one will be Jeremy ^^

7. MORE TRIPS

More more more, because my wanderlust will never end.

Okay that's all for this post. Tata!!!!!!

NOT RIGHT

Hey guys,

It's been awhile. It's been awhile on Instagram too.
Haven't been posting anything lately because I don't think I'm at the best state currently.
So to not remind myself how bad I look, I decided to not take any pictures.

Had a show last weekend, and maybe it's the makeup, or maybe it's just me not having enough sleep, not drinking enough water, or maybe it's the weather etc. I'm having breakout even before my menses. This is horrible :'(

It bothers me a lot when I have breakouts cause obviously, I have to pile on more makeup and that makes me feel shitty cause I don't like to have a lot of products on my face. But if I don't do that, I would never feel good enough to leave house. And I went for facial last night, and the act of removing the breakouts and pimples aggravated the skin enough more, so I look rather pathetic today...

So last night, I've got the weirdest and scariest dream ever. I dreamt of my boyfriend cheating. Ok, in the dream, he didn't exactly cheat I think (since I only rmb bits and pieces of it). I just know there's a 3rd party involved and it's a lot about misunderstanding and shit but in the dream, I felt a whirlpool of emotions and it felt so surreal...

The moment I got up, I texted J. He was up and about for army already, telling him about the dream and what a nightmare it was. Then, when I got to office, I googled what the dream might mean even though, yes I know, it's not even recurring... lol me.

And guess what I found? I think this is just so true I feel embarrassed to share this with you guys, cause from this you could probably tell how low my self-esteem is right now. Probably down the gutters.

Dream Interpretation says, "Dreaming about catching your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse with another partner probably indicates a deep seated anxiety on your part, either worry about your appearance, doubts about your attractiveness, or just generalized anxiety about the future."

Dang.

Shit.

Poot.

Why so true. Bull's eye right there!

And before I even said anything to J, and I didn't want to share this interpretation with him cause I don't want to look like an attention-seeking vain child complaining about that few bits of breakouts, he texted me.

My remedy right there ♥

SHM

Tonight guys. Tonight.

See you if I see you.

SLEEP TIGHT

Hmm.... Useful

HUMANS ARE UGLY

It's such a bad day at work today. Actually no, for the week.
Though it's only Tuesday, it felt like forever.

There's so much to complain about and I really wanna just suck it all up instead of complaining right now, but I honestly can't. The truth is I'm so sick of humans and the society.

That, I guess includes myself.

I've been thinking a lot recently and the few below really bother me more than anything else:

1. People who forget their roots

Hey you were once lost, remember? And it wouldn't kill if you extend a helping hand to those who need it (quite badly) right now cause you probably needed help from someone before too. So why not be nice and make a difference? The only reason I could come up with to why you're being helpful is... you didn't manage to get the help you needed. No one helped you, and you feel bitter about it and think that learning curve will be maximized and stretched if I go through those awful ways too.

Yes, you're truly amazing for being able to find a way out YOURSELF in that maze. Amazing, you are. And because of what you've learnt in that process, you probably want teach the young ones, how to be independent and how to find a way on our own. But guess what? There's limit to everything. 

One should never forget their roots even though they're high and up all the way in the career ladder. Be a true role model. If everyone's gonna be mean and not help one another, then yeah... the world would be suuuuuch a better place to be in, isn't it?

Be a leader people love and look up to, not a leader people want to avoid.

2. I'm nice

Yes, I said it! I'm nice. I really think I am a generally nice person. I have never rejected anyone who came to me for help, being asking questions regarding certain issues, or discussing problems, confiding in me etc. I would go an extra mile for them if I have to, man! So, if this is karma, I'd say they found the wrong person. 

Cause I don't think I deserve this amount of shit right now. People, don't make me mean. Adults are generally meaner because they've seen too many ugly things to be nice and I don't wanna age grumpily.

3. Work performance

Ain't fantastic at all... ain't fantastic at all.

Been feeling really lost recently, am just so swarmed and clouded by all the unnecessary thoughts. I feel bad that I can't just box them up and deal with them later but to just let them get in my way. I just sometimes, I just want to be really selfish and not give a shit which I fail quite badly cause if I succeed, I wouldn't be complaining right now. 

Okay, back to what I want to rant. Another thing I don't appreciate from people: Just because you get through something doesn't mean IT'S EASY!!!! Lemme expand that, the above simply refers to people or anyone who finished with their O' Level or any kind of huge examination and will have the tendency to tell the younger ones, "Don't worry man, it's chicken feet!" or "It's really easy! Close your eyes also can pass!"

Well, guess what you smart aleck? Remember when you were in his/her shoes, you were probably freaking out too??!! So don't pull on a Oh-it's-easy shit just because you're over with that phase! Now I'm at a very crucial crossroad, IT'S NOT EASY OK. You may have gotten your life sorted out pretty fast and quickly, but I don't. Don't give me anymore shit, I've enough. Don't tell me how this transition could be easy cause nothing's easy, so stop saying shit like that.

I hate my work performance has to suffer like that.

4. Advertising?

Seriously? I'm so sick of the human uglies I've been seeing over these few months. 

I, get affected quite a bit by stains. By stain, I'm referring to all the negativity in things or people, not the literal stain, just in case you got confused. I am bad at focusing on the beauty and what's good once there's a stain that affects my work progress/attitude etc. I'll just keep looking at that stain. 

I am not that kind who looks at the cup being half full, or count my blessing kind of girl. I am the girl who look at other things. Something that affects me directly. "Why not enough water, I'm thirsty"

Advertising, I don't think I can do that for the rest of my life if what I've been doing is true advertising. I'll go bonkers, not by the work but by people, by adulthood... 

5. Somber

Today, my colleague said 'You're always somber.'

Wait, what does that mean? You don't know me, man.

I've been better before, really.

Most important of all, the takeaway message: 

Be a human and stay true to your roots. 

Never forget how you were. What you've gone through, and help others so they don't have to suffer like you too. Think about how you would like your children/family members to be treated and be nicer to others yeah, that I believe won't hurt your pride or reputation much yeah.

K, end of rant. Bye.


If you read through all that, you're such a friend.
You earn yourself 50 Irina points. Have a nice week ahead!!!! :-)

BORED DURING LUNCH

I've got some time left during my lunch break

and I decided to google, "Why do..."

And these came up. 

I'm surprised to see 'Why do men cheat' on top of the list, though it is actually not that surprising.

It is something I don't understand too, if you manage to find a good answer from Google.

Do share.

I'M ON BLOGLOVIN

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

I have absolute no idea on how this is supposed to work,

but it looks interesting enough so I decided to give it a go!

Join me if you aren't on it yet,

and follow me if you already are!!

How We Met & Progress - IV

Jeremy:

You have that thing in you that makes me wanna love you all day long. It's your rant that I want to listen to, it's your temper that I want to deal with, and also your occasionally cute moments which are all very rewarding to me. I want no one else's. I love how you don't act your size/age but rather like a small girl when you're with me, and that makes me want to take care of you even more

Often as we speak, I could see a future with you and the possible life ahead of us. I don't think this is common for guys cause they would want to escape from commitments and responsibilities but you make me want to work hard for us, to have a better life and future for us. Looking into those eyes of yours, never fails to remind me how much I want this, just so I could wake up to them every single morning. The thought of having our very own lovely and cosy room and to live together with you is just so exciting and I honestly cannot wait for that day to come. All I ever want from you, is to spend endless time with you.

The way you confront me with those brutal, harsh and thought-provoking comments just to challenge my thinking... I admire that side of you. How did I even get this girl? I'm hella lucky bastard. Irina, you've no idea what a good girl you are. Everything about you makes me want to bring you home to introduce you to my parents. I'm really proud to have a girl like you.

If you haven't noticed, this can be a little cheesy but I do think that I have unconditional love for you. I will withstand whatever you throw at me (don't worry this is not literal, Irina is not violent), be it when you're grumpy, moody, upset etc, I'll stand by you because I love you. Hence I chose you.

Irina:

You, Jeremy, are a very special being on your own. I would not like to compare you with anyone else if I could. I would also like to elope with you and stay in our very own planet if we could.

You, have this thing over me that I cannot turn away from. No matter how many times I try to get away or to move away from you, it wouldn't work. I tried resisting you, but I wouldn't succeed for long simply because I always want you to acknowledge me and the things I do, and to be part of everything I do. This probably explains why I always fail in cold war.

Something you're not aware of: You have a big heart, my boy.

Though it may not be comparable to Mother Theresa's, at least that heart has a place for me. The way you care, amazingly doesn’t make me feel bad or guilty. In fact, you make me strive to be a better lover for you. The only thing that I’m guilty about is probably the constant grumpy attitude I can't help and the need to exclude myself from everyone, hence pushing and distancing myself away from you, yet you never left.

I love how I could see the endless possibilities in you when I see you do certain things like house chores, playing with kids, caring for me, being a gentlemen, handling situations, I would be like 'Hey, for all I know I might marry this guy'. You never fail to keep me in suspense to what a man you might become one day. Who is this guy you might mature to become? I look forward to loving that man more. The day where our relationship will be legalized and recognized on a paper, the day where our heads will be sheltered under the same roof, the day where we would like new additions to the family and anticipate our very own products of love and so much more... The potential to this relationship is so vast. 

That’s why it has to be you, Jeremy.

GETTING OLD = LAME?

I was reading TC, and I came across this post where it explains how we might be the 'lame' friend among our friends. Curious to know cause I'm bored at well, I read through it and agree that I am THE lame friend among my friends and I don't think I'm shy to admit.

Read through the below, and maybe we might be in the same boat yeah. And if we do, don't feel too bad about it, I honestly think it's all cool. I am actually kinda glad that I'm over the Oh-Yeah-Let's-Party-Every-Night kind of phase. It's... tiring.

Nowadays, I'd really love to just scramble into bed early, and snuggle whoever/whatever i.e my bolster or boyfriend.... really how bolster came first, and then sleep early. I know, no life. But, I no longer see clubbing as fun anymore. Nowadays the club I frequent, is filled with guys younger than me! How's that fun? They're like 17.... 18?.... The girls 16??? They make me feel old and miserable, so I rather stay home.

But if my boyfriend wanna go, I have no qualms. Just go, don't come back dead drunk and it's all good.

Boo hoo, I'm such a boring person yeah.

AFORARCADE

This is slightly overdue. No, I lied.

This is really really long ago. 

Still, I want to share it with you guys.

If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably seen these pictures below.

There are the Behind-The-Scene shots from AforArcade launch shoot months ago.

So for this shoot, I've to carry a very different persona.

I've to louder than I usually am (translate this in picture not noise)

I've to be quirkier, bolder, weirder.... and basically, it's all about having fun.

And for the very first time, it's okay to be comfortable with my braces.

I am so thankful how the client appreciates and likes all of me, including my braces. 

Not all clients are like that y'know.

"Have it, flaunt it. Don't be afraid."

So, I had fun. Loads of fun. 

And with such personality I had to portray, the character became kinda unglam on set hahaha.

What you waiting for? 

Go check AforArcade out now!!!!!!!!!

HEHEHEHE.

GROWING UP IS TROUBLESOME

I've been looking at universities. I'm still hesitating if degree is really what I want or need. What is that that I really want? Out of this whole thing? Or maybe even, out of life? And what am I gonna do about modeling? Am I gonna take a year off to do full time modeling or should I just go into degree first? And if degree, what course should I take? Or what will benefit me? I don't wanna study something that won't be of help in future. E.g: Why we study Algebra or even Trigo? And another big question: Of all the universities in the world, which one is suitable for me? Local? Overseas? 

So many questions for me think about!!! And not even one is answered.

Local vs. Overseas.

I am actually skewing towards the overseas side. 

To complete a degree would take approximately 3-4 years, depending on the course. And in this 3-4 years, Jerm how? I know it is absolutely silly and stupid to be worrying about Jerm right now, but I am stupid and I am worried... so how. Do I just leave things here and go, and come back once a year and think that things will be alright the way they are? How does this studying overseas thing work? I asked around but I've yet to get the answer I really want or maybe wanna hear, and it's kinda frustrating. 

You might then think, why not local uni right? 

Well, that's because I wanna challenge myself and be independent. Do myself on my own for myself. I want to use degree as THE REASON to head out and live abroad, learn to be independent and be more mature etc. Otherwise, I'd chicken out and try to stay in SG for as long as I can. Studying here equivalent to being under mom and family's care and sheltered by everything I am more than familiar of. By studying abroad, I will be able to meet new people, widen my network, and learn more than I can ever learn here (I think, I hope). I will experience a different education system, I will experience different culture and will lead a different lifestyle, but I will not change my boyfriend. I really hope not.... It's gonna be real tough cause honestly I don't foresee myself to be good with long distance relationships and Skype is amazing but it's not gonna help. I'm weak. 

And, do I really want a degree? Err, no.

I don't want a degree, because I was told by many that I don't need a degree to work in advertising agency. All I want is the uni experience. Plus, I don't wanna jump into work so soon. I am gonna work my entire life anyway, so why the hurry? Degree would be a good reason to escape from work for awhile. Besides all that selfish reasons, my family especially my grandma would love to see me graduate from Uni so I really wanna do that and make her proud. She's illiterate so from there, you can probably guess how much she's suffered and wants the very best in education for everyone else.

So then, next question is where? Which uni? The world is huge. 

I believe there will definitely be good universities in each country, even those not-famous-but-honestly-good uni. I don't mind those. There are so so so so SO many to look, too many to compare. 

UK? US? Australia? DAMN IT. How to compare?! Where do I start? Compare based on what? The awards the school clinched? Well, that actually doesn't say a lot to me.... And, what do I do from here? 

I've too many questions I can't even answer myself.

"I don't know. I've no idea."

I'm such a lost child.

Maybe I will know what I want after lunch.

Okay bye, eat well guys.

NYE

Intend to wear my anorak out to match Jerm's attire, but he got paranoid about how he looked

and thought how he had no confidence to leave the house and decided to change, I took it off too

and put on my normal black cardi. This is such an unnecessary piece of info, but whatever haha.

It started off really great. We were excited about the day... till it started pouring so heavily.

We had to cancel the plans and only managed to get one of the checklist.

I did something I've wanted to do for very long: visit Salvation Army's store.

Thank you boyfriend for being so sporting and accommodating, I know you weren't excited about going there and didn't get why I wanted to go so badly... still you gave in and went with me.

If you are wondering, I don't have any reasons in particular to why I want to visit so badly, just that it has been sitting on my to-do list and I just want it off so badly and I would feel fulfilled that way.

We left Salvation Army after awhile. Braved through the heavy downpour and decided to head home first before going ahead with other plans. We got comfortable at home and didn't leave until 8plus. Went on to meet Trey who's leaving to New Z. for uni studies, and the rest at Timbre for countdown.

Met up with the rest of the fun bunch. Always very thankful to have Trey staying near me to give me a ride every now and then to meet up with the rest. After being late and missed my BTT (Basic Theory Test) appointment, I can't be bothered to book another. So, I won't be driving anytime soon I guess... 

That's actually the snow spray.... but the 'flakes' looked odd in the pictures.

More like mini snowstorm man.

Absolutely adore this picture. I always feel so safe and secure in his arms.

Whenever he draws me close and holds me tight, I would retreat into this very 'mmmm' state.

I can't find a perfect adjective to fill that, but it is along being zen, safe, bliss, and very in love hehehe.

We wish you a great and happy new year!

May joy and love fill you everyday in 2013!!!!