Tuesday, January 01, 2013


He just booked in.

The horror.

I hate the emptiness I always have to feel when he books in.
I hate how I have to be so melodramatic about it, and I can't help it.
I hate that I'm so emotionally attached and reliant on him that I feel... weak.

My friends have always been telling me how unhealthy it is to meet everyday, but we just... really love being around each other. I may not be the coolest/funniest person to hang out with, but we like how we are just so comfortable around each other.

We don't have to do much. Even lying down, and gradually falling asleep together is precious to me. To be in his arm, and in my most vulnerable state, I know I am safe. I love it when he holds me and says, "I feel really comfortable with you." Sometimes that kinda means more than I love you.

I hate the fact that I can't hold his hands, hug or kiss him when he's in his army uniform.
Showing affection is never enough on my side. I... I'm sorry. I can't go on.

I'm getting emotional.


Edited at 9:23PM:

The boy called me not long ago. The weak me gave away signs that I was/had been crying. I am ashamed of myself and I should go and sleep now. Please tell me this is hormones acting up though my menses just finished. PMS - Post Menstrual Symptoms can?

Okay thanks for reading guys. Sorry to put you through this.

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